Late night rambling

So here I am
2:36…. Having just finished the movie Superbad
it was sort of funny but mainly just kind-of offensive….
But that’s not the point…. The point is that its now 2:37
And I cant seem to go to sleep….

My eyes are tearing up and I’m not sure why
But I’ll take a shot at explaining….
The people I once loved or thought I loved
Pay me no mind….
Which I am ok with on some points but
Change
Is
Hard…. Plain and simple…

I sit here and think about the things I have done right
The things done wrong …and how I wish that I could
Spend the rest of my life correcting those mistakes….
Scars on my body and heart
Wounds that still have questions attached….

Sometimes I still understand why we go through
The things that happen in our lives…..
Meaningless violence
Meaningless sex
Meaningless self-indulgence….

My body
Your body
Was meant for man than this…

That’s why God loves us
He knows how high we can jump
How far we can run
How much we have hurt
How far we can go in this life….

Sometimes though I want to do things for me…
Sometimes I get too narcissistic for my own good….
But He loves me and always shows me the way….

Here’s a poem I wrote:

The ballad of grey

“Up or down
Cant shake the feeling;
The midnight lights slip
Effortlessly through the blinds.

One
two
three
the joke is still on me

yet these white walls
are the belly of a whale
and my heart says Nineveh is nowhere in sight….

Fall fast to feel the wind
Pass by your face to feel alive ...

I can’t see the son sometimes

Grab hold to let go
Take the horns but no bullshit

Three times over this room is grey…..”

p.s. I will miss you heath ledger…. And also suicide is no joke. If you are depressed or suicidal there is hope. Go online and check out twloha.com. it’s a great website that has plenty of ways to get you help… LoveIstheMovement…..