Love this side of Heaven....

Love and the Rationale to stop the Bullet

2008-03-07T13:39:00.003-05:00

So there's this thought

this idea

this revolution called

LOVE.

I have been thinking a lot about love and something has just burrowed its way into my mind. There is this phrase in the Bible that says "They will know us, that we are saved, by our love", also "they will know Christ by our love". This phrase hit me really hard because lately i have gotten bogged down with some personal issues that has taken my sight and reduced it down to just being able to see whats three feet in front of me. I went from seeing and being aware of others hurt and pain to getting sucked into my own. This really reminded me of what C.S. Lewis talks about in his book The Screwtape Letters. He basically talks about how demons go about screwing with our minds and getting us away from loving others and God. Satan wants us to get behind our own walls, be critical of ourselves, be critical of others, and just lash out when someone does something that remotely "harms" us. In essence I just sit behind my walls waiting to snipe someone when they do something wrong, all the while i'm pissed off at myself and really tear myself down.

Satan is not perfect or even that strong, he is just good at what he does. He gets us to basically look critically and judgmentally at ourselves and others. Satan is a master at this. He loves to hit us on all fronts. What woke me up to these things were true love. The love of the Father, the Almighty, the great Healer and Redeemer. Someone showered me with Christ's love and it made a difference. His name is Timmy. I know that it wasn't a big deal to him and it was something fairly normal, but that time spent together was infinitely important....

I say these things to say.... Go and love .... Love everyone around..... Don't hold back because you could be the only representation of Christ's love in that persons life.....

1st Corinthians 13:7 "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things".

Beautiful is the Way We Live

2008-02-09T03:02:00.000-05:00

So it has been a few days, well weeks since I posted anything and I thought that I have had enough stuff brewin in the old noggin that I had to through something down….

First off, concussions are no fun… Head trauma, however comical in movie and such, is a real occurrence and can be severely painful. Sleeping pills, unlike other medicines out there, actually do their job and really well at that.

With that said, the past few weeks have been extremely strange, trying, dizzying, and overall awesome to some extent. There has not been a three week period in which I have given when I felt I had nothing to give, hurt when I thought I couldn’t possibly hurt anymore, or find love when I really thought love was gone from my life. – A little side note: I would like to qualify the rest of this blog with a particularly old and influential phrase, “ The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever”. This phrase is the beginning of the Westminster Catechism, which many people have come to say over time. Now I am not particularly keen or really aware of what the rest of this Catechism says but I do know that “glorifying God and enjoying Him are essential things.- Back to where I was going, I have been in a weird place spiritually do in part to the state of my physical self but also in part to the state of my mental self. This spiritual funk, so to speak, is due to renewed look at how I can glorify God and secondly am I doing that thing that Glorifies God.

Here is where I ran into my first problem: there is not a catch-all glorifier that all of us can do, sort of like no two snowflakes are the same, in a similar vein no two human beings were created the same. So I caught myself trying to copy ways that other people reach out to and glorify God. Needless to say I had less than desirable results. So, then what can one do to really Glorify God? The answer hit me like hot summer day in the heart of the south, The way glorify God is exactly at being. Not just any kind of being, but specifically being me, and you being you. The best way we can glorify God is by living beautiful, which to me means living in the unique way that God has created me and then reaching above and beyond what I or anyone else thinks that a normal sinful human should do. This may mean playing guitar for three kids in a room and leading them in worship, which may seem awkward or strange. It may mean stepping up and just hugging someone when no one else will… It really means living beyond yourself so that God has to work in and through you thus glorifying Him. Live beautifully, Live beyond yourself, let love do the work, Love wins.

Late night rambling

2008-01-24T03:01:00.000-05:00

So here I am
2:36…. Having just finished the movie Superbad
it was sort of funny but mainly just kind-of offensive….
But that’s not the point…. The point is that its now 2:37
And I cant seem to go to sleep….

My eyes are tearing up and I’m not sure why
But I’ll take a shot at explaining….
The people I once loved or thought I loved
Pay me no mind….
Which I am ok with on some points but
Change
Is
Hard…. Plain and simple…

I sit here and think about the things I have done right
The things done wrong …and how I wish that I could
Spend the rest of my life correcting those mistakes….
Scars on my body and heart
Wounds that still have questions attached….

Sometimes I still understand why we go through
The things that happen in our lives…..
Meaningless violence
Meaningless sex
Meaningless self-indulgence….

My body
Your body
Was meant for man than this…

That’s why God loves us
He knows how high we can jump
How far we can run
How much we have hurt
How far we can go in this life….

Sometimes though I want to do things for me…
Sometimes I get too narcissistic for my own good….
But He loves me and always shows me the way….

Here’s a poem I wrote:

The ballad of grey

“Up or down
Cant shake the feeling;
The midnight lights slip
Effortlessly through the blinds.

One
two
three
the joke is still on me

yet these white walls
are the belly of a whale
and my heart says Nineveh is nowhere in sight….

Fall fast to feel the wind
Pass by your face to feel alive ...

I can’t see the son sometimes

Grab hold to let go
Take the horns but no bullshit

Three times over this room is grey…..”

p.s. I will miss you heath ledger…. And also suicide is no joke. If you are depressed or suicidal there is hope. Go online and check out twloha.com. it’s a great website that has plenty of ways to get you help… LoveIstheMovement…..

Some writings ad thoughts....

2008-01-16T16:54:00.000-05:00

My re imagining of the Lord's Prayer (this might be a little sac religious)

"Papa, who is beside me,
I love to say your name.
Love me here as you loved me in the beginning .
Papa I fret, yet provide for me in ways that I need.
Forgive me for hurting you and forgive those that hurt me today.
Keep me away from temptation and pain,
Save me from evil for I am yours now and forever
Amen."

*Sing or rap to some imaginary phat beat* “Here it comes straight from hand and brain, some new thoughts and insights to make ya go insane…”
Ok so maybe I should rethink trying to rap an intro to my blog. I may have just lost a few people with my attempt at becoming the next Kanye West. Ok well I’m neither black nor am I from Chicago, but I do like bright colors like Mr. Kanye.
Anyways, back to the point. So it has been a while since I have written another blog in my series called “Love this side of Heaven”. I knew that coming here to England that I would get a lot of ideas to write about, but I thought that I would wait till I got home to write them down. That changed when I felt this fire in my bones, as the prophet Jeremiah would say. This leads me to the topic of this little blurb of thought, prayer, writing, and even a little freestyle rap. Drum roll please, Hold your breath, cross your eyes and hold on to your small children and animals this weeks flavor to savor is none other than…………(drum roll)… God. Not god or just some man in the sky with an overgrown bully complex, but I’m talking about GOD, The Great I Am, The Alpha and Omega, The I’m the Man because I created the universe and I knew and thought of you before you were even born man.

At this point I have to say that I’m about as close to figuring God out as Central, South Carolina is to hosting the Olympics. With that said, there are some things about God that have really been impressed upon me. God is big enough to hold the Universe in His hands but he is small enough to be grasped by a child. He is big enough to create the world yet He is small enough to wrap His love around a premature baby who is struggling to survive. It is this loving aspect of God that blows my mind. I can run and run and run and run away from God but only to find myself somehow nestled in His arms. At the end of the day He will always welcome me back in with open arms.

Another point that I have learned about God is that He is a very personal and intimate God. It says in His word that He knows when I sit down and when I rise. He is there when I wake up and when I sleep. He is there when I
Cry
Laugh
Dream……
He is there with me at my greatest moment of sorrow and at my greatest moment of bliss. Through all these moments he actually cares about the things that I have to say. He is the greatest example of a friend, an intimate lover, the perfect father, and loving brother that I will ever know.

Having shared those two aspects I would like to leave you all with an analogy. God is like the most brilliant diamond that we could ever imagine. He has an infinite number of facets; each one shining and speaking to us……So go and seek after this most brilliant diamond and you will be surprised with what you find…..

I love you all.....

p.s. check out some sufjan stevens renditions of amazing grace and holy,holy,holy.... they will leave you speechless and in awe of our Creator....oh and guitar hero has been taking up obscene amounts of my time as it should yours.....

Just some thoughts for the day.....

2007-12-01T11:22:00.000-05:00

So today I have just a few thoughts for the day.....
1. So i think that before everybody jumps on the "I hate the Golden Compass because he wants to subvert everything bandwagon", we should stop and see the opportunity that we as christians have. Typically throughout history when Christians are upset about something they just throw up the picket signs and shout in the streets. Now dont get me wrong i think there are plenty of things to protest against(civil rights, abortion things like that), but a movie..... Come on. Now before i lose anyone i have read all three of the books in question and i have read what Phillip Pulman has said in different articles. The thing that has so many Christians up in arms is that these books and movies are "targeted" towards kids. Now here is where i have problem with that kind of language. When we use the word targeted in this context we set this up as a us verse him kind of battle which is just destructive. We separate ourselves and put it in the realm of us being higher or better than him with just the language that we use. How do you think muslim parents felt when their children came home with the chronicles of narnia.... I'm sure they felt the same way that many christian parents feel now. So instead of boycotting this thing wouldn't it be beautiful if we could meet this viewpoint head on, be open and honest, and try to meet these people where they are for once instead of making them come to us. Christianity is for everyone and is not meant to be hoarded and saved for the people we deem acceptable. So lets get out there maybe see this movie and begin to talk openly and humbly about what we believe....

Palmer

p.s. Check out "the imitation of christ" by thomas a kempis and John Foreman, the lead singer from switchfoot, has an ep out that is amazing... give it a listen.....